Saturday, May 30, 2015

starting over...

dear beautiful, crazy world,

where has the time gone? 
i look over my long neglected blog and wonder...where did the last year of my life go?
in a nutshell: to a very, very different place!!

i won't bore you with all the why's and hows and feels, but last july, my mister and i moved from our much beloved home of the last 17+ years -- New Orleans-- to the not so lovable city that is Miami, Florida so that my mister could work on his PhD at UM. 
and here we are.
gah!!!

all i want to do is give you a million reasons why i hate it, tell you about the difficult time i have had adjusting, why new orleans will ALWAYS be home, etc, etc...

but no one wants to listen to that, and to be quite honest with you, i'm tired of talking about it.
let's just suffice it to say that i don't like it here.

but i am finding ways of coping.

first off.... i have MY VERY OWN STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
WOOT!!!

'scuse the trashcan. 

it's sunny and lovely and i have had an WONDERFUL time decorating it and making it my own.
it is my sanctuary. my happy place.

cash likes it too, precarious as it is for him...

oh, and my art...boy howdy it has changed!!!

a sculpture from last november when i was trying out some new ideas.
i believe she is still available at Mariposa Gallery in Albuquerque...

 
another lady born of my dreaming of home...

funny, so many people said to me when we moved that they were interested in seeing how/if florida would affect my work...especially the color palette. i scoffed. several times.
 i loved what i was doing and didn't think it would ever change.
boy, was i wrong!!!

looking back, and looking at the new work i've been creating i can definitely see the influence of the tropical landscape here.
no, i'm not painting palm trees or sculpting lizards but there are more reds, pinks, greens, and blues in my work.
to me, it feels more lush...




it no longer has that gothic tinge to it.
which surprises me completely.
but, i'm on a different path now, and it is coming out in my work. perhaps i will talk about that later...

i have gone through several stages and mediums since moving here. 
moste notably --- i tried pop surrealism:


meh.
not me. too much planning. too much detail.
too much, oh my god, will i ever be as good as mab graves!?
um, no.
and i'm fine with that.

then one day i was looking through old pictures of my work as well as looking through my inspiration boards on pinterest (does anyone even use pinterest anymore? i do. i still lurve it!!!) and i realized that i had been neglecting my true love of color and texture. 
that what i really love and am drawn to, what inspires me, what i moste enjoy doing is mixed media.
and wah-lah!!!!

i finally found my voice!!!





i'm happier than i've ever been, artistically.
i'm no longer setting constraints; boxing myself in.
i have a VERY bad habit of setting rules for myself. of thinking i need to make work that will sell, fit in to this genre, etc, etc.
it's an awful thing to do to yourself artistically.
and i am not doing it anymore.

has my business slowed down since we moved?
you betcha.
if you listen closely you can hear the crickets in my Etsy shoppe.

am i happy making my art?
damn skippy!!!
for the first time in a long, long time i am doing what i want to, what feels right, what calls to me.
and i think it's the best work i've ever made.
and i'm going to keep making it.
crickets be damned.

i'm really unsure where to go next here...blogwise, you know.
i have a very deep need to connect with other people right now.
i spend almost all of my time alone, in my studio working and talking to my cats.



(say hello to Patches and Cash--my beloved minions who will be showing up here to say hello from time to time)

although i completely and utterly embrace the social media platforms that have allowed me to connect with people all over the world and to do so in a flash: oh, twitter, facebook, and instagram, how i love thee.... let me count the ways.... the truth of the matter is, i believe our society is loosing itself in duck faced selfies and narcissistic rants. it appears to me that despite our ability to connect to so many people around the world, we don't. not really. does anyone even talk anymore?
i miss that...i miss the days when we actually talked instead of posting memes and 140 word counts, that to be completely honest with you...i cannot understand half the time.

so, this is me. trying to connect. in a human way.
by talking.

 it's as good a place as any to start.

so...this is me.
starting over....

xoxo,
amber


6 comments:

ellen lankford said...

awesome self-awareness on the new path your art has taken. it is really beautiful, and i love the new ethereal settings and visions in your work. you are allowing yourself room to dream. once you got to Miami, did you decide: "society be damned, i'm going to do whatever the hell i want to"? b/c if you did, it was a most excellent choice. and here's to the little creep who told you "you'll never make it in Miami". well, here's to you, little man…Miami can't hold our girl, b/c she has big ole wings now, like a raven's. she is a Ravenclaw, after all. she can fly where she wants to!

ellen lankford

Micki Wilde said...

I still talk and I can guarantee no duck faces from me (unless i'm taking the p**s with my daughter) I have been considering a return to blogging too after a long while away. I'm still pondering though.
I Love your work old and new and can't wait to see more of what you've been creating. I love the shots of your studio too and long for a private studio space of my own some day.

Micki x

Lunamom said...

This is such an exciting blog to read, just this first post and I have lightbulbs flashing all over in my head saying *shes going thru a similar part of the journey as me!* and *Yay! You found your voice!!* It shows, its wonderful, and I cant wait to see where it takes you.

Amber Leilani said...

ellen, you are so sweet!!! i don't think i mentally made that decision...as you know i had a really hard time adjusting to life here ( which i do plan to discuss in the future since it deals with depression and i think it might resonate with a lot of people) -- but after wallowing my own misery for about 6 months, i just decided i needed to get back to the person i've always been ( who got lost somewhere along the way during all of this) and not let my surroundings affect me negatively. i've always pretty much said, done, and been who i wanted. but as i got older, i started to frighten more. no more of that!!!

Amber Leilani said...

micki i do hope you will return to blogging too!!! i absolutely ADORE your work and keep hoping i can more of it to hang in our home!! you know the one painting i got from you a few years ago has pride of place above my beading table in the studio. yay for no duck faces!! and i would love to see where you work...i know it is as amazing as you and your art!!! xoxo

Amber Leilani said...

lunamom...so glad you found me!! and i'm glad to hear i am not the only one who is on this journey!! it has been a doozy, but it's all about the journey now and seeing where life, art, nature take me. thank you for the lovely words about my little blog and art!! xoxo