Wednesday, December 22, 2010

planning, scheming, thinking, dreaming...

i've dropped in twice over the last week to chat, update, and just hang out here, but every time i've started a post, it hasn't felt comfortable and i have deleted it.

i'm weird that way. things have to feel right.
i treat my journals/sketchbooks the same way...the house is full to the brim with half and quarter used moleskines and the like because if i don't get a good vibe off the book, it doesn't get used;

 when i get it in my head that i need a new sketchbook, i go get one. never mind that i have more than a dozen barely used ones lying around. they have had their moment. and the moment i am in now will not work with the moment that has passed.
and i am having that moment now...

for the last few days i've been thinking about painting.

i can't get it out of my head. i haven't done anything about it, because i usually butcher canvases when i get in this mood, and by golly, those things are expensive! but, i bought a set of 6"x6" canvases a few days ago at michael's ( about the time the " i want to paint" thought crept into my head ) and they are stowed quietly in the armoir in the studio until i feel confident i won't make a mockery of their surfaces.

truth is, i'm not a very good painter in the traditional sense.
but, then again, there's nothing about my art that is traditional.

and when i start to WANT to paint, that means a new journal...
see where i'm going here?

i haven't done much, creatively over the last few weeks.
 the holidays have swooped in and taken over my life- which is fine. this is the first year in many, many years that i have actually enjoyed this time of year. so, i've just been going with it...

i've spent most of my days this last week or so fiddling around the house - cleaning, doing laundry, rearranging the studio; christmas shopping for mah boo; lunching with friends; and basically doing festive things that involve crowds of other merry makers, but not so many that i want to hurt anyone.
it's been nice.

but, as the holidays are coming to a close, and normal life (well, as normal as it gets here, since twelfth night is january 6th and that's the start of carnival) gets back underway, i've been thinking, and planning, researching, and scheming what i want to do next, art wise.

i have several ideas for new dolls which include valentines and mardi gras; i want to look into the prospect of making cabinet card-esque postcards for my sideshow troupe to offer for sale to those who maybe like my dolls but can't afford one; and i've been thinking about doing some painting.
but, i don't want to rush this aspect. i want to think on it some more...

mainly, i want to enjoy the holidays with my mister and our families, hang out with my cats, and just dream.
i love dreaming. it's my favorite past time. but, i don't let myself do enough of it. i have often tried to keep that aspect of my personality in check, because i am, so very often, not present in what is going on around me. and sooooooo many times i have been told that is bad. i should BE present.
truth is...i rarely am.
i love dreaming.
meeting new characters in my imagination. planning new work. dreaming of new designs.
it's when i'm the happiest.
so, i dream. and dream. and dream....

it doesn't mean i don't enjoy my life,
i'm not just not ALWAYS present.
you may have to repeat yourself.

so, as i sit here, in the early morning glow of a wednesday with images of new paintings, new characters, new glittery goodness to bring into the world....

well, i think i'll go buy a new sketchbook.
then stare into it's clean creamy pages and dream...

happy happy holidays everyone...
don't shoot your eye out!



Bead-Mused said...

Amber, I related to so much of this post. If I were to list it all, it would be another post in itself. Happy holidays & happy dreaming!

Philippines Tourism said...

the art and photography of this blog is just so interesting.

saigon said...

there are so few people i know who are making dolls. it seems a very nice trade( oops art) very much like designing clothes.
a very happa holidays to u too