Wednesday, September 8, 2010

will you give me a hand?...

so, i'm typing this one handed today - and with my left hand, which is not my hand of choice.

many of you may remember that last year around this time, i dislocated my wrist as well as pulled a tendon. we still have no idea how i did it. it will forever be a mystery....
needless to say, i was out of commission for the rest of the year.  and it was the beginning of my transition from jewelry artist to mixed media artist: since i couldn't bead, i sought a creative outlet that would allow me to use my left hand and keep the pressure off my right. i ended up getting into rubber stamping


 which led to paper collage,


 mixed media collage,




 and finally art dolls


-which has fulfilled me, creatively more than anything in a very,very long time.

well, over the last few weeks i've been experiencing a bit of pain in that same wrist & i noticed i had quite a good sized bump in the spot that was injured. i succeeded in mostly ignoring it...until this weekend.
by sunday i was starting to get concerned. so concerned that the mister called my doctor & made me an appointment for 8am yesterday morning.

i was pretty scared. all i could see were my dreams swirling down the drain. i saw knives & physical therapy.


well, it turns out i do have what is called a ganglion cyst - more commonly referred to as a"bible bump" because traditionally, folks got rid of them by whacking them with a big ole bible. 
ahem. not this southern belle.
 they are most common in women ages 20-40 and usually form on the wists and hands where trauma has occurred. normally, they are not painful, but when they are ... well they do hurt.

i also have some sort of tendinitis that has a french name about a mile long to just go ahead and add insult to injury. turns out that has been where most of the pain stems from & has been making my wrist weak.
 who knew?!

soooo...i started out my tuesday morning getting not one, but TWO shots of cortisone to my tender wrist - one of which was DIRECTLY INTO the cyst itself.

NOT PLEASANT


but, my doctor thinks that will break up the cyst and  hopes it forgoes the other lovely option of having my wrist cut open.

ME TOO!

not good timing on this as i have sooooooo much on my plate right now.

sooooooo.....i am icing my wrist, trying to rest it, taking anti inflammatory meds, and hoping to be back crafting by the weekend.
surprisingly enough, the tendinitis hurts more than the cyst at this point ( i think because my doctor messed with it so much yesterday).

it's hard for me to sit around and do nothing. i keep walking back to my studio trying to find a way to work. but i haven't.

i woke up completely panicked at 3am wondering when & how i will do all the stuff done that i need to for my shows & retail orders.


and you know what - i WILL get it done. i may not have as many pieces as i would have originally liked to have, but they'll be good pieces.

i keep thinking about a friend in town who has a degenerative muscular disease. her nerves don't work properly.
she lost her job because of this & has had to go on disability.
has it stopped her going & doing? no.
has it crushed her positive attitude? absolutely not.
she is my role model for staying positive & focused.


i realize a little hand discomfort is nothing compared to a degenerative disease, but my hands are my livelihood. i'm an artist. a crafts person. i don't know what i'd do if i couldn't make things. so, i must say this has been very upsetting for me to think about loosing all of that.

but, hopefully i won't.

i'm supposed to take it easy for a few days; let pain be my guide; wear a thumb restrainer - which i hate; and take more breaks in between working.
that's doable.
except that thumb thingy. that's going to take some getting used to.

so, thanks for letting me share this with you all. i try not to bring the negative in here anymore - i want this place i have built to be one of creativity, joy, exploration, and whimsy.
but this is important to me, so i wanted to talk about it.

i WILL stay positive. and i WILL work through this.
and i have such a loving, wonderful partner who is taking such good care of me. i could not ask for more!



hopefully, i'll see you all this weekend with new work & positive results....

till then....

amber

7 comments:

Christina J. said...

I hope the shot works and that your wrist is feeling better soon! I had tendonitis in my arm / thumb a few years ago and I remember how painful it was! My thumb would lock in place - ouch! Sending you loads of happy, healing thoughts. :)

Amber Leilani said...

thanks, christina! what did you do about your tedinitis?

Gloria said...

Oh so sorry. I hope your wrist starts feeling better. It sure isn't nice to have pain. I have pain every day and live with it because it won't go away. I deal with it as best I can. That's great work up there. Get well soon.

Lidia said...

Hope you are pain free soon, In the mean time - keep that positive attitude going!

TheBlakkDuchess said...

My darling, my dear, you are not being negative. You're just sharing a concern. That's ok! ^-^

You are in my thoughts & I know you'll be back to crafting & creating in no time! Keep that positive attitude! =D

You WILL get everything done & finished that needs to be. I know it. Everything will work out far better than you have planned it.

Sending love & hugs & healing energies your way STAT. ^-^

I'm sorry that you're having this pain in your hand & wrist & that it's such a pain in your ass... ^_~

As a side note, I cannot believe they used to whack the cysts with bibles... @_@

Actually, yes, I believe it... o_O

Love & hugs!!! Lots of hugs! ^-^

Here's to you being pain free SOON!!!

xoxo

Christina J. said...

I had to wear a brace for a long time, but sometimes even with wearing the brace my thumb would painfully lock up. My mom is a massage therapist and I started going to her to have her work on my arm and thumb. Between the massage and wearing the brace -- and a lot of time trying to rest it-- it eventually healed. It's one of those things that seems to take a long time to feel better.

Jenn Maruska said...

I hope you are feeling better soon. Keep your sense of humor and your chin up! : )