yeah. i need to talk.
wanna grab a cup of coffee and just chat for a while?
where do i start?...
well, i just finished this little gal and i have to say, she has sort of become my studio guardian:
i love her mismatched horns, her "oh don't start with me" expression, and of course, her glittery dress. that's vintage silver glass glitter and i can't wait for it to tarnish and then her transformation will be complete!
i've also been working like a mad woman on those 40+ pendants i showed you earlier as well as making earrings ( gawd, i hate making earrings! you know why? there's 2 of them! ha ha! ) and i dug out half a dozen cuffs i had started last year before my wrist injury and i am working on finishing them. right now, inspiration is not forthcoming regarding the cuffs. i had this great vision of very free form textural pieces, but my experiments have flopped grandly. so, i am back to patterns, but the inspiration for those is not there either...so i am working on other things in the meantime.
but, like i said, i just need to chat for a few minutes.
i haven't been feeling like myself these last few weeks. i just don't feel happy or inspired. and i keep getting freaked out about the fact that i am not really working right now.
I KNOW!!! WTF!? RIGHT???!!!
i should be OVERJOYED to be in my little corner of heaven, sculpting faces, beading cabs... and i am. i really am. but i am scared shitless too - and that feeling is dominating all the other feelings and i am afraid that i am weaving fear and anger into my work instead of joy and whimsy.
so i told myself to STOP!!!
i mean, for chrissie's sake... i can only do SO MUCH! i push and i push and i push myself... but i can only make so many things in a day, week, month.
none of these things have a home yet. so, of course, no money is coming in.
the shop i work at here in new orleans has been closed all summer as the owner relocates to a new location on magazine street. the renovations are taking waaaay longer than anyone could have imagined ( and i wanted to go down to part time anyway ) so i have no local outlet for my jewelry. in september i will have work in high gloss in houston once again. but, right now september feels very far away.
but i also keep stressing myself out that i won't have enough work. and then if i go back to full time from october - december - how am i gonna have time to make stuff!!!
i look around me - on the internet mainly - and see a great many crafters who have their work in many galleries, who know EVERYONE in the crafting world, who teach, who are published, who go to workshops and conventions. i dont' do any of this stuff.... i feel like i am treading water. how do i get started doing shows? how do i find galleries that might be right for my work? do i want to teach? do i want to submit work for publishing? etc etc etc.
i just feel lost right now.
i keep telling myself that i have to start slowly. i am basically starting over after being out of commission most of last year. but, you know, it's just not going in. thick brained, me!
wash. rinse. repeat.
that's all i can do: keep reminding myself that i can only do so much. enjoy what i am doing. and make little baby steps to get where i want to be. i assume i will figure out how to do that. i'm not what you'd call stupid. but i am emotional and that holds me back quite often.
so, i just wanted to say that out loud. you know... bend your ear. just bounce some stuff off the universe.
i feel better already.
and i should get to work...
today i am going to work on several dolls i have going as well as make some more earrings. the mister will be out of the house this evening which means i can work later, so that's good. i usually quit when he comes home so we can eat dinner and chill out a bit.
i hope that everyone is having a good week so far, and i hope to have full fledged pics of new stuff up by week's end.
thanks for listening!