Thursday, January 7, 2010

clearing out and starting something new

hola everyone!

well, we are officially 7 days into 2010 and already the fella and i have started tackling the studio. surprise! surprise! the dreaded catch all of the holiday season. it's in the back of the house, so everything just sort of ends up there...sigh. there is also no heat in that room, so brrrr....

but, we got on it sunday night after i came in from michael's -- (god i hate that place, but it's the only game in town) -- and the art supply store - where i bought atc cards and water soluble oil pastels! yay! we cleared out enough space for me to work at the table - oh, and actually be able to GET to the table. very important.  so, now i have a little area for my paper crafts cleared off and somewhat organized.

 i haven't even touched the beading table. to be honest, i'm a little afraid of it. it's an antique writing desk with a top that closes - so the kittehs won't wreak havoc - and i am afraid of what kind o' mess i left in there in october. hmmm...i guess eventually i'll have to look, but not right now.

to be honest, i am just not feeling the love for the beads right now. i know i need to work - december was a very good month for me at the shop and i am sold out of earrings and embroidery pendants ( except for the 1985 series. i have plenty of those. not sparkly enough for the holiday shoppers, i suppose). so, i need to get to work, but i am just not there yet and i refuse to force it.

i did, however, start a new journal and make my first two paper collage pieces last night. it's funny, how you have ideas in your head - which don't seem all that ambitious until you actually sit down to work on them. usually it's then that i realize that i have NO IDEA what i'm doing and only a vague idea of how to go about acheiving the look i want. (i also realized i don't have nearly enough stamps or ink pads, but that's another story all together). i know NOTHING about making collages. not one thing. but, i bought a bunch of paper, bought a bunch of stamps, dragged out my colored pencils, and waah la! collage. sort of.

i'll admit that i have a long way to go to acheive the look i want with my paper crafts. and since i am obsessed with two TOTALLY different styles, that just makes it harder to focus. again, i have all these ideas but i get sooooooooooooo overwhelmed when i actually sit down to work, that i totally freeze up. totally. but, you gotta start some here it is:

i have to remind myself constantly, however, that i do have my own style and it will take time to bring it out in this new craft. i have found myself, over the last few days, trying to emulate other styles that i have seen and liked, and it just turns out blah. blah. blah. know why? 'cause that ain't me. i've never been a copier. why start now? i know i will find my voice. i just have to be patient.

my main goal is to explore the ideas i have and just to experiment and freely create. i know that sounds easy, but for me, it doesn't come so easy sometimes. i can be really really really hard on myself when i am learning something new.
see, i think i ought to be FREAKING FANTASTIC at pretty much EVERY CRAFT ever invented the FIRST TIME OUT. yeah, annoying for those around me to say the least. i get so depressed when things don't turn out the way i planned. ( you should have been at my house the day i made my first embroidered pendant. that was a lovley day). oh, and don't even get me started on beaded beads. i finally decided i was not put on this planet to make those little buggers. after about a month of trying, i admit it - i gave up. i will admire the work of others in that field, thank you very much.

i am not sure how i became so obsessed with stamping and collage ( i think it was a marie antoinette shadow box i couldn't afford), but i am glad i have taken the plunge. much like bead embroidery, i find it very freeing. i can sit back in my little corner of the world, moving the pieces of a puzzle around until i find the look that fits. that satisfies me in a weird way, i suppose. my own way of just playing.

i know i have a long way to go - my style won't develope over night. nor will my skills. like everything else in life, a new hobby takes practice as well. and very possibly admitting to yourself that your style is very clean and concise and doesn't really do fru fru very well. i like fru fru. i'm just not good at it. yet.


Flo - mycraftyways said...

I hear you my friend !
The "should be perfect on the first try" frame of mind is something I'm really struggling with. The first step of actually starting to make something makes it easier, but still... ;)
I've been fiddling with paper art for almost a year, and the possibilities seem truly endless ! I still don't know what I'm doing or where I'm heading though, but I sure love it. It's mostly been a creative output so far, we'll see.

I can't wait to see what you come up with. I loved the tags you did a little while ago.

Amber Leilani said...

yeah, flo, i really have to remind myself to just
"go with it" A LOT.
i remember last year seeing some of your paper crafts and thinking they were sooooo beautiful. i believe you mad some cherry blossom stamps that i liked alot.
well, we just have to keep playing... that's the fun part, isn't it!?

Christina J. said...

I think it's exciting to try something new and you may find that it gives you renewed energy and beading creativity. I have not been feeling much like beading, either. I don't know what my problem is! This weekend I learned how to solder with a soldering iron, which was a lot of fun. I guess I'm taking a beading break to solder!