Friday, January 2, 2009

welcome 2009

well, we did it.
we got through 2008.
whew.
i know, i know... it wasn't that bad.

but, still.

a few weeks back, i started thinking about what i accomplished in 2008, what i didn't, and of course, i started thinking about my goals for 2009.

to tell you the truth, i am just at a loss as to where to start.

the first thing i want - and think i NEED to do- is change
the way i look at the world. i want to feel more joy. real joy.

i found an article today in the times picayune about a woman
who has dealt with the death of her son by painting her house,
fence, and sidewalk as a tribute to him. her nosy, obviously bitter
and terribly fearful and sad neighbor has reported her to the city, who has sent a summons to her telling her she will receive a fine of $100 a day until she
paints her sidewalk back to ... grey.

this article saddened and angered me much the same way that the passing of
proposition 8 did. and opened my eyes a little wider to the fear and negativity
encircling our little corner of the universe.

and made me think about what i want from my life in the long run, and what i want from this coming year, in the short.

i have spent some time this last year really trying to work on who i am
as a person - get the blood pressure down, be a better friend, stop
taking my s******* job so seriously, and stand up for myself more.
this year i am hoping to put more of this into practice. especially the
standing up for myself. i am so non confrontational it's pathetic.

so, here is a little list of things i would like to accomplish this year and for many many many more to come:

stand up for myself more and often
stop worrying about hurting every one's feelings
continue to explore my belief system
learn to react more rationally rather than emotionally
always follow my instincts
become more active in my community
attend more art events
give the jewelry business one more try
find a better job - one that allows me to use my brain
become an activist for causes that are close to my heart
be more open minded
paint for fun
eat more sushi
dress better
connect with more people who share my beliefs and ideals
try something different every day
visit my friend, penelope - this is long over due
read more
spend less time beating myself up for the mistakes i have made in my life
enjoy what i have and not be mad about what i don't
enjoy making jewelry even if it doesn't sell
try new ice cream flavors
learn to cook a few dishes
try "rolling with it" for a change. i can't plan everything...
speak my mind even if it makes me unpopular
don't stress out about the little things
make a new mardi gras costume - no one can tell what year your pictures are from!

so, i guess that's it...

welcome 2009. i hope it's a good one for everyone.

2 comments:

GrandmaMarilyn said...

Yes, Amber, you need to get back to the brighter side. I say a prayer for all the blessings I have received that day or that week. He hears them over and over. You also need to get back to the joy of beading. That is why you started it in the first place. You will find that when you concentrate on the brighter side of life that it will start looking brighter. Start leaving you problems at the Lord's doorstep and enjoy the little blessings you receive every day and your life will take on a more joyful outlook.

Amber Leilani said...

thanks marilyn! i am working very hard to find the brighter side. this year has been tough for me. and you are so right about the beading.... i can't forget that it makes me happier than almost anything else. hey, maybe i should go shopping for beads....!!!!!