Friday, January 18, 2008

Making a Decision













I couldn't sleep at all last night. I tossed and turned but in a good way - well, apart from not getting any sleep. My mind was alive with creativity. I did not want to got to bed and finally just gave up and did it anyway sometime after midnight. I dreamed all night of colors and shapes and beautiful creative moments. Still, it was a sleepless night.

I thought and thought about the photo I found and posted of the garden room. It made me think a lot about my own work space ( which I continually gripe about - it is in the HALLWAY between the bedroom and kitchen) and how it actually is like a little creative cave for me. So, I took these pictures this morning. I love my beads. That one is my favorite.

And I have decided to continue making jewelry. It's been a process, I can tell you that. Usually I just stop working and party a bit, but this time I really wanted to look at what was making me so unhappy about something I used to love. I realized I was putting too much emphasis on the working part and not enough on the creative part. And I was trying to be something I am not. I was thinking too far ahead and berating myself for working in BEADS. Then I realized I LOVE COLOR and I LOVE TEXTURE. I am not interested in molding metal. I want to paint with little dots of color. And, I am good at it ( sold another bracelet this week).

Being creative makes me happy and I am going to continue to do it. But, this time around, on my terms. I want my love for what I do to show through on every design. I want each piece to be special and I want to enjoy creating it. Period.

1 comment:

Lena Echelle said...

Amber!

Boy am I glad that I saw this post before your previous ones about giving up making jewelry!!!!

You know what your problem is right now? It's January. This is what happens every year to me in January.

I don't worry about it anymore, I do my taxes. Tax time is the only time I know of when you can celebrate not making any money the year before doing what you love to do!