Friday, January 18, 2008
Making a Decision
I couldn't sleep at all last night. I tossed and turned but in a good way - well, apart from not getting any sleep. My mind was alive with creativity. I did not want to got to bed and finally just gave up and did it anyway sometime after midnight. I dreamed all night of colors and shapes and beautiful creative moments. Still, it was a sleepless night.
I thought and thought about the photo I found and posted of the garden room. It made me think a lot about my own work space ( which I continually gripe about - it is in the HALLWAY between the bedroom and kitchen) and how it actually is like a little creative cave for me. So, I took these pictures this morning. I love my beads. That one is my favorite.
And I have decided to continue making jewelry. It's been a process, I can tell you that. Usually I just stop working and party a bit, but this time I really wanted to look at what was making me so unhappy about something I used to love. I realized I was putting too much emphasis on the working part and not enough on the creative part. And I was trying to be something I am not. I was thinking too far ahead and berating myself for working in BEADS. Then I realized I LOVE COLOR and I LOVE TEXTURE. I am not interested in molding metal. I want to paint with little dots of color. And, I am good at it ( sold another bracelet this week).
Being creative makes me happy and I am going to continue to do it. But, this time around, on my terms. I want my love for what I do to show through on every design. I want each piece to be special and I want to enjoy creating it. Period.